K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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