So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
