No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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