Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
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Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
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Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.