I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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