Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Acid is not a monday night drug
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
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Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
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It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?