Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
