Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
