Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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