By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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