guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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