They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize