i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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