We need to start having sex underwater more often.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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