Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
