I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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