woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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