oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Couch. On fire.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
