Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
