He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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