How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize