I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.