everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
