'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
