That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.