so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler