I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING