home. puking in laundry basket.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"