Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island