i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.