this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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