I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
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we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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