So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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