Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
