We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
