I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
