mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize