I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
