Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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