Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Panties = found
Randomize
