But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
is it fun? or sober?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
