I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
