Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
