Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just pee around me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
