Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
honey bunches of taint.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
