I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
