What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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