their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
