Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
