i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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