do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
