But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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