I feel great
I just peed on a car
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Boobs speak an international language.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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