Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
