omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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