HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
