please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This is my gift to your gina
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
