dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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