yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
