i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
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I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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