You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
