Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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