Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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