i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
